Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She bit a glass in half.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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