Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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