I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
