Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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