i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
