We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
