It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
