it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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