I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
