Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
that's an acceptable place to lick
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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