The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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