Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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