i'm signing you up for texting rehab
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
