well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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