I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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