I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
