Betty ford says i'm here all night
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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