i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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