we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
