Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
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