this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
