I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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