This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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