Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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