You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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