Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
