His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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