im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
