I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
