i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
