Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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