So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
