It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I wish there were birth control emojis
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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