Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
