THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
