its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
