My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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