That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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