Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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