worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
