K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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