I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
