Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
