Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just cropdusted the office
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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