bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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