I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I cockslap morals
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
