You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
