We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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