it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Sober January is a disaster.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
