she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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