I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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